Parallel Structure and Essay Outline

NASA treats its employees well.
NASA pays its employees well.

NASA treats and pays its employees well.
NASA treats its employees well and pays them well too.

NASA treats its employees well.
NASA pays its employees badly.

NASA treats its employees well but pays them badly.

NASA carefully reviews each candidate.
NASA fairly reviews each candidate.

NASA carefully and fairly reviews each candidate.

In college, I studied astronomy.
In college, I studied geology.

In college, I studied astronomy and geology.

On my first day at my new job, the boss was very helpful
On my first day at my new job, my coworkers were very helpful.

On my first day at my new job, my boss and coworkers were very helpful.

On my first day at my new job, the boss was very helpful
On my first day at my new job, my coworkers were very rude.

On my first day at my new job, my boss was very helpful but my coworkers were very rude.

When the Curiosity rover landed on Mars, I went on Mars time.
When the Curiosity rover landed on Mars, I didn’t see my family very much.

When the Curiosity rover landed on Mars, I went on Mars time and didn’t see my family very much.
When the Curiosity rover landed on Mars, I went on Mars time, so I didn’t see my family very much.

NASA has safely launched many spaceships.
NASA has proudly launched many spaceships.

NASA has safely and proudly launched many spaceships.

I learned a lot during my first year at NASA.
I made many friends during my first year at NASA.

I learned a lot and made many friends during my first year at NASA.

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Structure of an Expository Essay and Rough Essay Outline:

Introduction:

General Statement Choosing where to work can be a difficult decision.
Introduce the topics The Ames Research Center and the Jet Propulsion Laboratory are both excellent places to have a job.
Have a clear thesis However, in the end the Rearch Center was the best option for me because I would be closer to my family, the air is cleaner, and the surrounding city is less crowded.

Body: Family
Topic sentence Living near my family is important to me.
Support/describe/explain/give examples Everyone in my family lives on the penninsula …

Body: Clean air
Topic sentence California is known for being smoggy, but the Bay Area has nicer air.
Support/describe/explain/give examples They’ve cleaned up a lot, but it still isn’t enough, but I know that …

Body: Population
Topic sentence The last reason I chose the job in northern California is that it has far fewer people.
Support/describe/explain/give examples Its population is …

Conclusion:

Reword In the end, it’s clear that I could not have chosen to work anywhere but the Research Center.
Remind Because my family is nearby, the air is clean, and it has a smaller population, I know I can truly be happy there.
Relate I cannot wait to start my new job.

"Thank You M'am" Discussion

Vocabulary:

Snatch: take away, grab, take quickly, take with force

Taking off full blast: running away as fast as possible

Turn you loose: let go

Frail and willow-wild: scrawny, weak

Furnished: décor, design, set up for and has furniture for that use

Make a dash for it: make a run for it, run away, escape

Icebox: old-fashioned word for refrigerator

Latching: grab and hold, hold onto

Barren: empty, bleak

Stoop – Par 2 “She still held him, but she bent down enough to permit him to stoop and pick up her purse.”

Verb (action): bend, lower yourself

Stoop – last par “…He couldn’t do so as he turned at the barren stoop and looked back at the large woman in the door.”

Noun (thing): small front porch, usually in a common building

Discussion Questions:

1.       Nothing, that he didn’t say thank you, she was very trusting, she was so nice

2.       Troubled, neglected, no positive role models, probably lives in a bad area, hungry, frail

3.       He said he wanted shoes. Old lady, big, heavy bag, wouldn’t be able to catch him (easy target)

4.       Poor (rents in a boarding house), single, not well educated, hard upbringing

5.       Trying to be a good person, trying to see the good in the kid, she’s just a nice lady, she understands

To show him he’s worthwhile, someone cares, teach him a lesson
deterrent? Probably not, he might consider it

6.       Broken window theory cleaning –symbolic (wash away sins) literally encouraging him to take better care of himself. To relate to him. She knows it’s probably not a good situation. She doesn’t want to embarrass him.

7. Probably not.

8. He wants to be on her good side, like she can trust him. Doesn’t want to let her down.

9. Guilty conscience, or doing bad brings bad back to you

10. confused, he probably has never had to say that before, overwhelmed

11. Yeah because he got off easily. No because it made an impact on him and made him rethink his actions.

12. Some people just need guidance, trust, and someone who cares

13. not everyone intends to be hurtful, sometimes they just need guidance | sometimes advice is more effective than punishment | have compassion, be understanding | don’t judge too quickly

Beginning Introduction and Topic Sentences

Essay types we've covered:

Narrative: Story with a point (thesis)

Descriptive: focuses on describing with reason thesis)

Expository: explains (exposes) with a clear thesis

Expository Essay Structure:

Introduction –

General statement: Cats are the best pets
Introduce the topics (1 - quiet, 2 – catch pests, 3- very sleepy)
Thesis

Body -
BP1
Topic 1 – cats are quiet
Support: Evidence, discussion, commentary

BP2
Topic 2 – cats catch pests
Support: Evidence, discussion, commentary

BP3
Topic 1 – cats sleep all the time
Support: Evidence, discussion, commentary

Conclusion:

Reword – reword your thesis
Remind – remind the reader of the points you made
Relate – make the essay feel finished

Introduction worksheet:

Music is the universal language
Reggae, punk, rap
 - culture
 - popularity
 - gneration to generation (over time)

  

1. Nowadays, many men and women work in law, accounting, real estate, and business. These people are serious about becoming successful, so they work long hours during the week and even on weekends. People who work long hours are called “workaholics.” Because they work so many hours, workaholics may not spend enough time in leisure activities. Therefore, workaholics’ lifestyles can affect their families, social lives, and health.

2. Diving a car is a necessity in todays’s busy society, and it is also a special privledge. Therefore, anyone who wants to drive must carry a driver’s license. Getting a driver’s license is a complicated process. It is divided into four steps: studying the traffic laws, taking the written test, learning to drive, and taking the driving test.

3. The teenage years between childhood and adulthood are a period of growth and separation. During this period, children separate themselves form their parents and become more independent. Teenagers express their separateness most vividly in their choice of clothes, hairstyles, music, and vocabulary.

Topic sentences:

Topic sentence – first sentence(s) of each body paragraph, tells the reader what the topic will be and restricts the writer to that topic

Teenagers always seem to have some shocking styles. This is because they are experimenting with their independence through how they dress.

Forget sauce !!!!

fast food !!

profit !!

In-class assignment:

Write an introduction and topic sentences for body paragraphs on this topic:

Some people belive college students should devote all their time to study
and not have any part-time jobs that might take them away from their
school work. What is your opinion? Why?

1. What is your opinion?

2. How can I support that opinion?

 -

 -

 -

3. Introduction: general statement, introduce topic, theis
4. What topics will your body paragraphs cover (your support)

5. What will your topic sentences be?

Boys and Girls Together Taught Separately in School Summary/Response

Summaries

What is a summary?

Using your own words, briefly describe the writing’s main ideas.

Include: *Main idea(s)    -Talk about the story *Cite (name) your source    - Title, Author, where it was published   (such as the title of a newspaper) *Use your own words (paraphrase) *Longer than one sentence, shorter than original *Only talk about what the author has said *If there are two opinions, you must share BOTH

Don’t Include: *Small details    -Don’t retell the story *Do not quote the author directly *Do not share your opinion

Source?
Boys and Girls Together… Jennifer Medina … New York Times

What is/are the main idea(s)?
Children being taught separated from the opposite gender

What are some of the supporting details?
1. How classes are conducted
2. Not everyone agrees on the new system
3. It is an experiment – no scientific evidence of effectiveness

Are there two opinions? What are they?
This is a good system/this is not a good system

Summary:

Some schools are teaching children in gender-segregated classrooms, according to the article “Boys and Girls Together, Taught Separately in School” by Jennifer Medina printed in The New York Times. In classrooms separate from the other gender, boys are taught by a teacher who behaves like he is coaching a sports team, while the girls are taught by a woman who uses a much more sensitive approach. The new approach is an experiment that many schools are trying across the country, but the strategy is getting mixed reviews. While some parents feel that their child is paying more attention without the added distraction of the opposite gender in the classroom, some experts are worried about the future implications of the new teaching strategy, insisting that it will hurt children later in life when they can no longer avoid working with the opposite sex. Research hasn’t yet confirmed whether the teaching method is more effective than more traditional approaches.

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Summary/attributing correctly:

Incorrect:According to Kim Gandy, president of the National Organization for Women brings out that girls develop more confidence by being involved in class participation. Kim also refers to the boys behavior by focusing more in a single-sex classroom.
-don't refer to people by first name only
- attribute quotes to correct people
-same problem if you said "the author said" when you're quoting a person's opinion in the article

Fixed:In the article, it is explained that girls develop more confidence by being involved in class participation. The article also refers to the boys’ behavior by focusing more in a single-sex classroom.

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Connecting quotes:
Incorrect:I believe that when girls are in class with just girls, they would feel more comfortable because they are with their own kind. Even guys/boys I sometimes notice feel better/comfortable just being around guys. In the article it says "now I never hear a word from teachers about behavior problems, and when he talks about school, he is actually talking about work." In a show I was watching girls were in a class just girls, and the girls grades were actually very high.
-WHO is the quote about? "He"? And HOW does it relate to the before and after discussion?

Fixed:I believe that when girls are in class with just girls, they would feel more comfortable because they are with their own kind. Even guys/boys I sometimes notice feel better/comfortable just being around guys. In the article, there is an example of this situation when Samell Little says about her son, "now I never hear a word from teachers about behavior problems, and when he talks about school, he is actually talking about work." In a show I was watching girls were in a class just girls, and the girls’ grades were actually very high.

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Introduce/connect quotes:

Incorrect:
Although I like to take classes with boys and girls, I'm agree with the article and I believe that single classes can help you get better. "Before, it was...he is actually talking about work." (Jennifer M., par 4) I've never been in a classroom taking class with only boys. However, I think the article is right because when I was in 4th grade, there was this cute girl I liked and I ...
-Can't "agree with the article" because the article has two sides
-Must introduce quote
- Must give quote context and can only shorten to make CLEARER
-never refer to authors by 1st name

Although I like to take classes with boys and girls, I agree with the idea in the article that says boys and girls being separated is beneficial, and I believe that single classes can help you get better. One parent in the article explains the change between before and after her son was put in a single-sex classroom. She said, "before, it was all about showing girls who was toughest ... now when he talks about school, he is actually talking about work." (Medina., par 4) I've never been in a classroom taking class with only boys. However, I think the article is right because when I was in 4th grade, there was this cute girl I liked and I ...

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Incorrect:I am agree with the article because in the article the girls are more likely to participate in the class is boys are not in the same class because I also feel more comfortable in the class and answering the questions if boys are not in the class. But if boys and girls in the same class then its good for professional life of both boys and girls. They both before more confident.
-Cannot agree with the article
-because used incorrectly second time because of earlier sentence structure (they are not more likely to participate "because" you are more likely to participate)
-good point at end but needs SERIOUS expansion! Don't just name your point and end. CONVINCE me

Fixed:
I agree when the article explains that girls are more likely to participate in the class if boys are not in the same class because I also feel more comfortable in the class and answering the questions if boys are not in the class. But if boys and girls are in the same class then it’s good for professional life of both boys and girls. They both become more confident.------Good example:

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A good students example of a summary/response to this article:

Boys and girls tend to learn more and better when they are taught separately in different classes. However, some think it causes gender discrimination. The article "Boys and Girls Together..." by Jennifer Medina says that separating boys and girls to different classes has increased academic performance. Kids tend to focus more and understand the class work more. The test scores have increased and the behavioral problems have decreased. According to one of the parents, he said his son's work has increased in school. He hasn't heard from teachers about behavior problems and his son actually talks about school work since he has been surrounded by only boys in his classroom. However, there is some disagreement about boys and girls being separated in the classrooms. Kim Gandy, president of the National Organization for Women says separate classrooms will bring gender discrimination. Girls won't have the opportunity to show how smart they are and that they can do what boys can. Boys will grow to have major problems including with having a girl as a supervisor. But since classrooms have been separated, girls tend to focus more and boys tend to participate more.

Separating boys and girls is a good idea to help children focus more, but it could cause discrimination in the school. In the past, women didn't have many rights and this could lead back to that, because they would not get to show boys their potential. When I was in middle school, boys didn't stop the girls from learning. The girls were actually the smartest in every subject. Having girls and boys in the same classroom is better, because they can help each other. For example, if a boy is not good in science, a girl could help him and if a girl isn't good in physical education, a boy could help her. If classes are separated, the two genders cannot help each other and see that they are smart and good at many things. The article stated "separate classrooms reinforce gender stereotypes," and I agree with this quote because boys already think they are stronger and smarter, so having all boys together means there will be no chance to show them that girls are equal and will make them think they are superior to girls.